RSS Ake’s Pains

  • Somebody Got My Goat Last Christmas – And This Year Too December 3, 2019
    By far, the best Christmas gift I gave last year was a goat. That’s right - I gave someone a live goat! And it was such a good gift that I’m giving more goats away this year. This may seem strange given my disdain for goats and especially goat yoga. Goats are wily, frisky creatures, […]
  • Game 5 of the World Series Was A Real Bust November 25, 2019
    This year’s World Series was historic. Yes, the visiting team won all seven games, but another first-time occurrence topped even that. At the start of the middle of the seventh inning in Game 5, Houston Astros pitcher Gerrit Cole looked in to his catcher to flash him a sign. And he got flashed alright, by […]
  • When PowerPoints Lose Their Power November 13, 2019
    My company hosts a large conference every year where industry people come from far and wide to hear many expert speakers pontificate on relevant topics. I am one of these pontificators, and I am entrusted with presenting our 5-year forecast, the most vital information of the entire conference for many of the attendees. This is […]
  • This DNA Was Never Meant To Be Mixed – The Story of Me (Epilogue) October 29, 2019
    I actually considered writing this in third-person, but it sounded and felt weird, even for me.According to the laws of nature, my parent’s DNA was never meant to be mixed. It is either through God’s design or evolutionary factors that compatible people produce offspring. My parents were thrown together by unusual circumstances. So, as the […]
  • What Happens In Niagara Falls Doesn’t Stay In Niagara Falls (The Story of Me - Part 3) October 16, 2019
    This is Part 3 of the story – for context, please read Parts 1 & 2.This was an unusual honeymoon. Betty and Gene had only known each other for three months, following a ten-day relationship. Their infatuation, not even sure you can call it love at this point, was still burning hot on their honeymoon […]