RSS Ake’s Pains

  • Turkey Eyes Are Watching Me (Turkey Update – Part 2) March 19, 2019
    For almost two years the turkeys have confounded me with their craftiness. Turkeys are extremely intelligent creatures, so much so, that Ben Franklin favored them over the bald eagle to be our national bird.Over time, I realized the turkeys knew a lot about me. For example:-         They know I put food out every day.-         They […]
  • Having Too Much Wild Turkey March 4, 2019
    But let me be clear: I do not feed the turkeys. They are not my turkeys.Just as the swallows return to Capistrano and the buzzards return to Hinckley, I anticipated the turkeys returning to my backyard this autumn.  Several years ago I was surprised to see a single, scrawny turkey in my backyard. The next […]
  • I Smirk In Your General Direction February 18, 2019
    Hello, my name is Don, and I’m a smirker. I guess I smirk a lot.Because it’s a personal trait I never really saw it a negative. But when I looked up the definition it said “smiling in an irritatingly smug, conceited or mockingly way. Other words used were: offensive, self-satisfied, insolent, scornful, contemptuous, affected, and […]
  • A Cure For Male Pattern Stupidity February 5, 2019
    Several weeks ago, my email program got upgraded with a new feature called “Smart Compose”. Smart Compose analyzes the email that was sent to me, then suggests words, or sometimes complete sentences, as I type my response. For example, If I am responding back to an email and type “G”, Smart Compose suggests: “Good to […]
  • I Am Not Mr. Smarty Pants January 22, 2019
    Every humor writer/comic tells us about their colonoscopy. I strive to be original and fresh, so I promised you I would not write about mine. Uh, er, well some stuff happened that day that was uh, interesting. So this is the first, and hopefully the last, broken promise of 2019.When I get to medical facility […]